“Be still and know that I am God.”
Psalm 46:10
People that have come before me have all told me the same thing, “training camp will break you.” My first thought was fear. “What do you mean BREAK ME?” What will they do? How will I handle it? Will I even want to continue my journey and fulfill my calling to Africa? Am I even being called to Africa? These questions have run through my head over and over again.
That is the most accurate statement I have heard in a very long time. Training camp DID break me. Between worship, fellowship, and stepping out of my comfort zone, I have been broken down to nothing. It is hard to explain unless you have experienced this craziness for yourself but take it from me, this is the most amazing thing I have ever been a part of.
God has been working overtime in my heart to show me His love and how I can not only have a relationship with Him but an AMAZING relationship with Him. During this transformation I have had a difficult time ‘hearing’ Him. Listening to everyone speak words of encouragment that God has placed on their hearts was getting a little discouraging. I didn’t understand why God was speaking to them so cleary and boldly but with me.. nothing. Why is that? Was I not listening? Was He even talking? Then it hit me! It wasnt God, it WAS me. I was so consumed with the chaos of training that I didn’t take the time to listen. This morning, when I finally closed my eyes and opened my heart, God spoke to me. He directed me away from the group and toward my journal. I followed His voice and began to write. What He spoke into my heart were words I needed to hear. All I needed to do was be still and know that God was waiting for me to open my heart and be willing to absorb what He had to say. Finally I can answer, “Yes, God, I can hear you now.”
