How is God showing me He loves me?
How is He romancing me now?
After reading the book Captivating by John and Stasi Eldridge, I began to ask the Lord those questions every morning.
"What we need is for him to open our eyes, to open our ears that we might recognize his voice calling to us, see his hand wooing us in the beauty that quickens our hearts"
Throughout my time in Kenya and Uganda, I have been realizing that God has called me to Africa to love on the people here. Love that is not my own. An unconditional, exhilarating, supernatural love that only comes through the Spirit.
Ministry here in Rukungiri, Uganda hasn't been what I expected or hoped for. Working at a clinic, praying for people and attending an all boys high school everyday, wasn't something I was comfortable with. I wasn't connecting with either of them. I was confused and questioning why God had us doing this ministry.
As usual I wanted to take control of what my time here was supposed to look like, instead of being patient and trusting in his perfect plan for me. It was comforting to know I wasn't alone in feeling lost in this ministry. After encouraging feedback from my team, it changed my whole perspective on what it meant to wait and rely on God's timing. That is when my team and I began to walk in obedience, and then the Lord blessed us with Little Angels Primary School.
I walked into the school one afternoon and all 20 kids I had been teaching for the past week came running to me with open arms yelling, "Teacher Kay! Teacher Kay!" Every inch of my body was covered with tiny hands. Joy radiated from their eyes, lighting up the room. There wasn't a face without a smile on it. The amount of children loving on me in that moment made it hard for me to keep my balance.
I realized then how God was romancing me. He was showing me his love for me through the heart of every child. And even more I am realizing the heart of the Lord seen in the children of Africa as a whole. I had overlooked it before, but now it is so obvious. Now I see and love children so differently; I see Jesus. I see someone who,wants more than anything; my heart. He wants to romance me. He wants to be my Lover. He wants intimacy with me. He longs to be desired. He wants me to find my identity in Him.
I've learned I can't find the fulfillment of this love in other people; it never works. I need His love. And He wants to be loved by me. He wants my obedience, but only when it flows out of a heart filled with love for him.
Time in Uganda is coming to end.. sadly. But I couldn't be more blessed and overwhelmed with what God is teaching me and how he is transforming my team and I. We are off to Rwanda on Thursday! I can't believe we have a little less than 3 weeks till we leave Africa. Can't say I am one bit ready to come home though… I am in love with this place. But I do miss yalll!
Please continue to pray for my team and I.
Love ya!
