I came to Africa and I was so excited for the work God was going to do through me. I never expected God to work so thoroughly in my life. God has been comforting me, changing me, testing me and rewarding me with His blessings. I can honestly say it has not been easy, but it has been so rewarding and because of that I praise God.
God has been so good to me. In my moments of doubt and frustration He is patient with me. I feel His love and encouragement even when I am too stubborn to admit that He is what I need. Ultimately, His love and comfort is changing me. My past and current brokenness is being pieced together and not so that it can be shattered again. No, I have realized that the brokenness in my life, though it hurts, is being re-placed just as a doctor might re-brake a bone so that it will heal correctly. Some of my life’s hardships resurfaced while I was in Kenya, and I was extremely uncomfortable because I thought I had conquered those issues. Perhaps, I had temporarily conquered them, I don’t know, but God knew I needed a different kind of healing and restoration.
It was through God’s comforting people, whispers, songs and Holy Word that I began to accept and allow a change in my life. Change has always been a hard concept for me to live by. Change means I don’t have control; change means there is room for instability and inconsistency in my life. However, the change I have felt and experienced in my spiritual life is something so beautiful that it has affected the rest of my life. I have been changed mentally, emotionally and even physically all through God’s comforting love.
As I previously mentioned it has not been easy and I am specifically referring to the change. Change in my life means there are unexpected things that will test my faith. My faith being tested is a journey and it will be a lifetime journey, but it is an adventure that I have chosen to embark on because –although it is tough –it is something that is so rewarding. In other words, my faith being tested allows me to find my reward in the truths and teachings of God. My reward of love, joy, peace and freedom is not found in the approval, acceptance or attention of my peers. Instead my reward is found in the One who pursues me and sees the beauty in me even when I cannot. My reward is in the blessings He gives me and His unfailing love, grace and mercy.
I am so blessed by God and I feel so drawn to Him. I am excited for the work God is going to continue to do in me while He is moving through me. Tanzania is different from Kenya –it is a change –and although I don’t know what’s coming, I am confident that God is in control. I am now wait anxiously to be used by Him in mysterious ways to advance His kingdom.
