Radical
transformation. Two words that mean you’ve been changed forever. We’ve all
seen the shows on TV where someone goes in looking one way, and in a few days
or even some months later they leave looking like a completely different
person, inside and out. The reactions from others come in all different forms
they can scream, cry, jump up and down, or shower them with compliments. In the
end the person is always described in the same way: transformed.
The first trip I had taken with AIM was back in the fall of
2010 with the formally known ‘Real Life’ program. Our trip was to Kenya for
three months. To say that I went in one way and came out another would be an
understatement. The Lord wrecked my world, and brought me to life. I found out
who I was really in Christ, and who the Lord had created me to be. I went home
knowing that I would never go back to the person that I once was, but didn’t
really know where to go from there.
Fast forward to this January when I left my home once again,
as a leader this time, to go back to Africa for four months. I knew that the
Lord was going to change/grow/mold me more this time, but I wasn’t exactly sure
in what ways and how much. Can I just say that I love it when the Lord
surprises me? Because I really do… I honestly can’t even pinpoint when the
transformation happened in my life because it has been so gradual. I do
remember when we came to Nairobi for midterm debrief (after being in the bush
for the past 27 days with no shower/mirror/clean clothes/running water) taking
my first shower and looking in the mirror not even recognizing myself. I have
to say, I freaked a bit. I was having my own identity crisis. It was really weird and unexplainable.
So, I did what every person would do, I talked to a few people about the
transformation going on in my life and they were super supportive and loved
what was happening. I however, wanted it to stop immediately.
When you’ve looked the same way for the past, well forever,
and suddenly you start to change, things get a little scary. It’s a vulnerable
state to be at, letting people really see you and get to know you. Praying
through this the Lord continued to speak to me and let me know that more was
coming and that He was proud of me for allowing the change to happen. Not
knowing what all the meant I continued to pursue the Lord and ask Him what else
needed to change in my life. That, of course, is always a dangerous thing to
ask.
was as a daughter of the Most High. I woke up and daily renewed my identity in
Christ and spoke truth into my own life. While I thought I was walking more
confidently in who I was, the Lord spoke to me, and told me that I was actually
hiding who I really was. Wait a second, I though I figured that whole thing
out. But, I was wrong. In this instance He was talking about my name. You see I’ve
gone by Lizzie since the 2nd grade, and never anything different
(unless it’s my family talking to me.) The nickname stuck and I liked it. I
never saw myself as anything other than a “Lizzie.” Short. Sweet. Easy to hide
behind. But it is time to come out of hiding! The name I thought I didn’t
deserve, the Lord is giving back to me. So, no longer will I be a short,
simple, easy to hide behind ‘Lizzie’ but I will walk confidently in my
God-given name, Sara Elizabeth. Not
so short, not so simple, and definitely not easy to hide behind. I know my
radical transformation is a work in progress, but I feel like my identity
crisis is finally over.
