I impatiently begged God everyday to show me just exactly why he had sent me here to Africa, but being who he is, he didn't just blatantly say to me what he had in store for me. Instead he did me one better. He blessed me through someone or something everyday of this past month, and patiently he waited for me to realize that every moment I have been here has brought growth.
He brought me to a land I never thought I 'd see. He ttok me way past my idea of comfort. he took me deeper than I thought I would ever go. Then he stripped me pf all the expectations I had, and rid me of fear of the unknown. He showed me what it's like to really rely on him. He taught me what it really means to love, and made it clear I can't love on my own. He broke me and assured me it's okay to be vulnerable. Then he told me I am his beLOVED. All the while giving me 11 wise and inspirational people to share it with.
After coming from the bush in Kenya, and not having taken a shower in almost 20 days, being welcomed into a real house with a BED and a Shower almost made me feel spoiled. After running out of drinking water one day at the house, and going into panic mode, I realized just what God was showing me. This land is parched in more ways than one. They are so thirsty, but for something that is unquenchable by water. It's like they have run out of water and they too have gone into panic mode. Causing them to search high and low for something to give them life again. It's no coincidence the freshest water falls from the sky. Pure and yet to be filtered by worldly things.
So maybe my team and I are here to offer this water that delivers hope to the hopeless and freedom to those in bondage, but if for nothing else we are here to be transformed. My fearless leaders told me that just as much ministry that is taking place here, that much ministry is also taking place inside each one of us.
One afternoon while at the clinic, we stopped to ask a local man how to say 'can I pray for you' in their native language. After some confusion and miscommunication he asked if we could pray for him, and then proceeded to tell us he wanted to be saved. God made it very obvious right in that moment that we don't have to search for ministry, it's right in front of us. He never fails to give me one of those 'Holy Cow I'm In Africa' moments!
Lately God has knocked down some walls of fear of the future in me. He has literally had to show me that perfect love does cast out fear. Anna one of my creatively weird teammates reassured me that God doesn't get curve balls thrown at him. But it's so true! Why do we insist on harboring the burden of what the future will look like when God gladly asks us to give it to him. How much easier it is just to fully trust in him alone. My mom sometimes said she would envision Jesus laughing. I finally knew what she meant after Anna explained God is holding my future smiling and laughing knowing everything is going to be just fine. My daily prayer has been to be unafraid to lose my life so that I may truly find it.
Well all of these words God has given me mean nothing without the people back home to read them, so thanks so much for your support and prayers! It means the world. Miss you all so incredibly much. Until next time. Love from Africa
