What is love really? I thought I loved with my whole heart. I thought I knew what love was. I thought wrong.
The Lord has placed on my heart recently that I can only love purely with his love. That I can not love without loving him. And I can not fully love Him without loving myself, who he created me to be. Woah.
I have always been really hard on myself. I never felt like I fit in growing up. I always beat myself up over my mistakes and I never let myself forget them.
But you know what? Gods love is so much stronger. God doesn’t just love. He IS love.
Having my new family love me like they do has blown me away. The love I feel constantly is overwhelming. Then I realized, I have always been loved like this. I have been loved like this by my parents, the rest of my family, by people at church, people at my college; especially my three loving apart-mates who never gave up on me. The love of Christ in those women is insane and beautiful. And I am blessed so much to be loved by them.
So why couldn’t I see it?! Gods love has been all around me, overflowing into me from others my entire life. Why couldn’t I see it?
Because I didn’t love myself. How can you accept love you feel you don’t deserve? Well, I figured out that I was right, I don’t deserve pure, perfect love, but I have it anyways. Jesus died on the cross and changed everything. The power of sin was shattered. So beautiful.
So from here on out I am going to accept love, because I have learned to love myself. It is not easy, but if God wanted us to be perfect He would have made us that way. So, through my flaws and my short-commings, I am going to love myself and push myself to see me as God sees me. And also to look at others with his eyes, and love them with his heart.
